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Gift from my mom…found 14 years later

Posted by on November 20, 2011

On a terribly angry emotional day when I was fighting with the Mister, part of our fight was about a room where I had to clean out clutter. In spite of our fight, and after a long walk in the sun listening to Tom Waits on NPR’s Fresh Air — which revived my spirit, I forced myself to get in and get the job done. Scouring through the clutter and old boxes of letters, bills, and junk, I found a treasure. A handwritten letter inserted in a card from my mother for a birthday some 14 years ago. I lost her 5 years ago around the holidays, so finding something like this was monumental; it felt like a gift dropped from the sky. But I stood there in the middle of meaningless papers scattered across the floor with Tom Waits cranked in my headphones, iPod jammed in my backpocket, and grime on my hands debating whether to open it. So many times I’ve been taken off the cleaning track by getting sucked into to sentimental mementos…just that day I had re-read forgotten cards from an old boyfriend, now tossed into the pile for the shredder.

But something took hold of me. I wiped the grime off my hands and cracked open the card.

I could not believe it.

FOUR handwritten pages of love from my mom! Beautifully written sentiments, but heart wrenching too. All the pain of my mother’s lawsuit and financial loss came back to me. ¬†She lived and fought to give more to her friends and family until the day she died. I never took her expressions of unconditional love for granted, and now I have far too many people around me who don’t have a parent like she was to ever forget my good fortune.

But I have to admit that when things get really bad, and you have no family around you, you see other families that are angry, bitter, and even cruel to one another; it’s easy to question your memories and wonder if maybe things weren’t as rosy as you remembered. The cynicism seeps in, and can easily take over. I was in that place on this particular day, and I feel like my mom rescued me. She didn’t allow me to slip into a dark place and question her love. Her card and letter were ample proof of the love she gave me, and the best gift I could hope for.

I’m on a mission to photocopy the letter safely. In the meantime, it has been tucked away at my bedside to read before I fall asleep or start my day.

Thank you mom. I Love you!! xoxo

Photo of my mom with the letter and card (click to enlarge and read)

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